....

I don't like social gatherings a whole lot. Why? Mainly b/c 99% of the time I can't really be myself around most people. I have to kiss ass, act like a gentleman, and pretend I like talking with them.

Truth be told, the number of people I like talking with can be counted on one hand. It usually doesn't involve my fiance these days, nor any of her friends, family, or related folks. I ended up spending time with my family this weekend...that was a drag too. I went to go see my folks renew their vows, and spend time with out of town people. That alone was making me shake with tension. I didn't really like sitting around having to tell everyone "what I had been up to" etc. I don't really like telling people what I've been up to. Mainly b/c they can ask ANY fucking one of my relatives and find out. Shit doesn't miraculously change with people from season to season. However, people expect this. I don't. I know people will still smoke, drink, or do whatever their profession is. That's a fact. Perhaps a new child enters the world, and that's a blessing and such. Can't look reproduction in the mouth and state it isn't good. I'm not one for it, mainly b/c I don't like bringing life into the world as it is. Regardless, kids are alright.

Now, I just got done cleaning up my whole fucking apartment to have, yet again, a bunch of fat whores relieve me of it's neatness. As you can tell I haven't really been loving the idea of having any social events at my home, unless it's a lan party, or a party where I can meet someone. OH wait, that's right, not possible. I am engaged.

So, now I'm here, almost broke. Beer guzzling wenches galore, and I'm going to sequester myself into my computer room. Really it is the last line of defense for me. I find it annoying though as women in a drunken stupor often times relish in sleeping on the spare bed. And yeah, frankly it disgusts me.

Enough venting for now. I must do other things like smile, and force myself into giving a shit about my soon-to-be sister-in-law.

/ANGER.