Downtime is uptime

I keep thinking on idleness, and why people do it, and why the heck I enjoy it so much some days.

Today is Sunday and I have a shitload of studying to do. Just for one class, and a story to write for creative non-fiction. I'm enjoying my day doing it, and at the same time I'm taking my sweet ass time by all conventional standards. I don't know what it is really, but I can't stand staying in one gear of an extended length of time if it isn't some mundane task. My mind goes different places, and therefore, I'm all over the place. One minute I'll think up an article idea and get 80% through it...and then something bigger will hit me, and I'll set that aside. When I set that aside, I'll start on that bigger idea.

I guess some could say lacking focus is what I have, but I don't feel like I'm unfocused in that regard. I keep thinking on a lot of big inventors, and they had tons of projects all going at the same time. That's more my style. I want lots, and lots, of good things I like to do keeping me busy. I read a shitload of news and headlines. Technology and science related stuff mostly, but this is fuel for fiction. Fuel that I cannot let go of at any stretch. Instead of looking at Myspace, or somesuch I'm over at Digg.com for stories that are so obscure that even nerds avoid them. Why? Well, you never know what could be next.

My ex thought I had ADHD, and I personally think the whole disease is a load of BS. People are inherently going to have problems focusing if they have more interesting things they want to do. A boy that plays guitar like a god, but in random spurts will make great music. So what if he decides that he wants to go bungee jumping five minutes after recording/composing a riff that would change humanity. Does it matter? No! That's what existence is people! Always changing! You drop a bomb, and keep on moving. I watched the NCAA Final Four game between Florida and Mason State and saw a kid by the name of Humphrey who was shooting three-pointers and looking away. His mind wasn't even on the shot. He shot the ball and was on the other of the court by the time it sank. Of course this lead most of his teammates and competition dumbfounded. But I knew what he was feeling, he was like, "ok what to do next, uh, oh yeah I can get in this guy's face" except the other guy he was supposed to be covering wasn't even there yet.

That happened to me at work every day. I'd get in, and start a project. When I'd get to a certain point, and ready to do something huge - they'd say they are "working on it" and I'd wonder wtf is going on. So, I'd spend some idle time chilling. Just reading, getting data on stuff, goofing off, who knows what. I spent that idle time like I wanted it, and probably learned crap that would make some people reel. Ever want to know about Applied Informatics? Fuck, go read a Wikipedia article on it. How come spiders can stick to any surface? Go read a Nature article on Physics. Want to know the fifth state of matter? Go read an article on controlling atoms a billionth of a degree before absolute zero. (For those that want to know, it's a Trinity.)

I guess my point is this. You get your mind going, and you just keep it going, and use the idle time you got the way you WANT to. Some people say they are always busy, and feeling challenged. I have found out after losing my job is that you only feel busy when you are spending time on something you do not WANT to spend time. If you are always doing something you WANT to be doing - then you NEVER FEEL BUSY. I've got Japanese, and Astronomy as course right now. Those two classes really are the only classes left that I feel are a waste of time some days. The Californian valley girl they got teaching my Japanese class is good, but she makes no one want to learn at all. Posing not one bit of interesting information about Japan, it's people, culture, or the language itself. She's all grammar. Dangerous to say the least. Stagnation city. My astronomy professor is teaching 200 kids at one time, and is just going through the motions of putting facts on screen. Dangerous again, and more stagnation. When something gets that way I leave. I leave, and don't look back. Only problem is that graduation is more important so I stay. Stay, and grind my friggin' teeth until these two people are out of my sight.

Learning, teaching, and acquiring knowledge are pleasing to the human mind when you want it. When people want it, it is usually the result of self-fashioned desire. Thus far I've got a lot of that, and a whole world that wants me to stop doing it a lot of the time. Making a living, and become a productive unit of society seems counter-intuitive to being a human being. I can't remember the last time someone realistically stated they were more than one profession at all, or even thought they COULD say that. It's always ONE thing, and they stick with it at word's pace. What do you do? -- Engineer. Teacher. Porn Star. How about, who are you? That question is much more appealing to me, but I'm not too sure it is to the whole of humanity.

So, ok, I'm done writing this thing now. Time for some other writing.